2000-2001

She carried a rock with her where she went. It was a gift from her father. The rock was beautiful, grey with a black push pin seemingly pushed into it. They were connected by straight lines, criss-crossing the rough surface of the rock making it much more ordered. She holds it in her hand and admires it often. I wanted, want a rock. I threw mine in frustration into the shallow pond to see how many times it would skip. Once, from the shear force with which I threw it. There is so much more time now, so much more perceived danger. So much time to analyze my body and those of others. To see the painfully simple beauty. And the abyss of aloneness when you’ve stripped all bare and try to make the picture replace the rock I lost.

5/1/00

I am bursting

I have something
Too much to hold
Feel my touch, hear my song
Sit down next to me, My gift ... me

1998-1999

I cannot deem anything wrong or right in action or by mere circumstance.
I believe there is only actions and existence that are practical or impractical within the framework of certain points of view.
Is not that the basis for the concept of right and wrong, and therefore law?
The only absolute thing I can determine in the world is that without life there will be no experience like the one I am having.

1997-1998

What we have here is the present. The now is our only true possession, it is our origin and continuous rebirth. It is necessary to treat it with the greatest respect, because it is responsible for our relationship with God. God wasn't, God won't be, but Got eternally is.
For me God and the cosmos (everything, infinity) are strangely equivalent. All the laws of physics, the cause and effect dimension we experience, are representations of God's/cosmos power.

May 3rd 1997

Our very presence as an observer is the essence of our being, and the meaning of life is to be an observer. Could that really be, the meaning of life is to live life? Help me!

1996 Part 2

Anything that happens in our lives is part of us, it is not good nor bad, it is us. Neither are any decisions right or wrong, but we are synthesizing ourselves in the process. As God created cosmos (himself) we create ourselves. We must take responsibility for that creation. Creating a natural soul, natural state as the cosmos is reaching for its natural state, perfect disorder. Our natural soul is also a function of time with enough of it our being finds the path of least resistance.

1996

Never be the one to say 'it can't be done.' Said to another it may ruin a dream, said to the self it refuses one. And mind you, the phrase has sway only when expressed by time herself; she is yet to speak in the negative.